I don’t know the story of the diagnosis of your chronic illness. I do know everyone has a different journey. For me, there were several years of not knowing what was going on — not being able to dress myself, my husband having to help me get on my way to work in the morning, then hobbling into the school and trying to be the best teacher I could be, despite how I was feeling. It took time for the doctors to determine what was wrong.

One of the things I found difficult during this time, and even after the diagnosis of rheumatoid arthritis and later fibromyalgia, was living it out in front of people. When you have an invisible illness it’s hard for people to understand what you’re going through — it even takes time to understand it yourself.

I began to ask God to help me. I knew I couldn’t keep worrying about how others saw me. There is a scripture that brought me such comfort then, and it still does today.

For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge — that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. – Ephesians 3:14-21

Reading these verses fills me with His love but pausing to meditate on them fills me with a more complete and deeper understanding.

He wants to strengthen me. Christ wants to dwell in my heart. He wants me to recognize how wide, long, high and deep the love of Christ is. It surpasses all knowledge. I can be filled beyond measure with God’s love.

When I read this I realize that God loves me beyond my knowledge. I can’t begin to understand the size of it. If He loves me this much, I can share my sorrow, confusion, pain, and frustration with Him. I don’t need to look to others for acceptance and understanding. I can find it in Him. I am not alone! I want to grab hold of this truth!

Being fully loved by God allows me to accept what others can offer with thanks — not wishing for something different from them. I have all that I need already — the rest is a gift.

Why not try writing out Ephesians 3:14-21 today — the simple act of writing out a scripture in your own hand will help you process the words more deeply in your heart and mind. As you write, meditate on the words and allow God to minister to your heart.

O, how He loves you.